Jun 10, 2011

I am not my Feeling(s) ...

I have been practicing the idea “I am not my feelings”…. Well it does make sense I am not “anger” or “ happiness” or “sorrow” or “excitement"…. I am a Being, living day by day … But the truth is, it is not as easy as writing it down. Most of the time “I am angry” “I am sad” ….

When we say out loud the way we feel, we don’t realize that we are actually personalizing that feeling as ourselves.

Today for more than a thousandth time I came face to face with the very real fact that I’m living a life that my parents thought is best for me – and as can be expected I’m not the happiest most of the time. Every time I realize this truth, I try to make myself believe that I’m right by being “angry” and since I'm angry someone else should be responsible for it. But what I would like to do is just to sit, look at that anger – where it’s coming from – and just to solve whatever is making me have this temporary feeling … well, who knows maybe I will be able to do it someday, but for now I’m still working at a job that I have never enjoyed for the past 7 years …

Just like the feelings, we are not our jobs, we are not the people we have in our lives, we are not the accomplishments we achieve in life …. These are just thoughts or beings or energies that we call towards ourselves. Well then I don’t think I should be calling anger or the shame that comes right after it :)  are we aware of what we are calling for ourselves? We always call for the best things for the people we care about – but what about me ?

During this questioning of my true feelings and trying to realize that they are just never-lasting feelings, my best teacher is my puppy BIDIK :) he is a Yorkshire terrier who was born on the 1st of may :) It’s been exactly one week since M and I picked him up and since then we have been doing our outmost best to make him happy… but see the thing is, Bidik is always happy!!!! Even when he’s hungry, he feels hunger but he is still playful and happy!!! Even when he’s taking a car ride with us, he feels fear but he’s still very happy :) He is amazing.

I know that 29 going on 30 is an old age to enjoy the everlasting Love of Bidik but I think we are very lucky to have him :) Just hope he learns everything he needs to learn from us, just like I’m learning so much, from him just Being Here Now :)

Apr 15, 2011

our choices...

I just realized that I haven't been writing to my blog for almost a year:) Sorry, but i've been busy reading, following and posting on twitter. Also I run a yoga studio now - yogaEvi. The website is in turkish, just like our classes, since we live in ankara, Turkey !! Well still you can e-mail me about the english hatha, yin or prenatal yoga courses :)

I have been following many yoga studios' twitters and today I came across with this :
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
Well it made me think ...  Do we really know, what we are choosing? Or even deeper : does it really matter? As long as we don't stay put, as M says : "even the worst decision, is better than no decision" :) 
Then I also came up with this, let me know what you think ;)