Jul 12, 2012

Freedom ...

 Have you read “Alice in Wonderland”. I’ve truly enjoyed the movies and the animations but never got around to reading the original book. Still, it’s very often that i run into some quotes from the book, my favourite being : 
“ Alice  : Which road do I take ? 
  Cashire Cat : Where do you want to go ? 
  Alice : I don’t know. 
  Cashire Cat : Then...... It doesn’t matter !”
    I’m in a place where having had the precious work experience, I can stop and decide what I want to do with my life. I have an amazing husband who always supports me, amazing parents and sister who are always there for me and wonderful few friends who know me better than myself, to advise me to take this break just to sit back and listen to myself. Well, the first thing I did, when I quit work was to declare that “I’m free to do anything!!!” That’s true, I’m free.... But doesn’t the idea of freedom come with a huge package of self doubt ? Well mine did. So now I’m not sure if being free to choose, is actually a good thing. 
    Since I was very little, someone has always been by my side to choose for me. Choosing what to wear, which school to go to, which exams to succeed in, which country to have an exchange in, which university and department to study at and alas where to work..... So now, I’m having a very hard time to choose... Even to try new things, I can’t choose where to start . When my husband and my sister push me just to make an effort to start somewhere, I came across this quote and loved it. In very short sentences, it explains perfectly that we shouldn’t over think. Does it really matter where I go ? Does it really matter which road I choose, considering I don’t have any idea where I’m going ? 
    Just like in yoga... I’ve been practicing hatha yoga since 2004, started for my asthma and got my teacher training in 2009. Now every session in itself is like this quote, reminding me not to take it so seriously. And it’s very ironic that the asana that I feel most Free in, is for me the hardest asana - Urdhva Dhanurasana. So in order to get into that asana, I have to really warm up, then silence my mind and really turn towards myself, so when i’m in the asana, I can fell free instead of the fear and self doubt.
    I think it’s a luxury to be free to choose what to do in life. We just need to remember, sometimes, “it doesn’t matter” which road we take, as long as we are free and brave enough to take the first step. And feeling free is always possible if we remember to warm up, loosen the mind and listen to ourselves, wherever we are...

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